Pause

Unwind, rewind
Forward, stop
Pause
Gathering, re-centering
Making space, expanding
Yet still ...this tightness...

Centrifugal spinning
Inwards, deep
Then, outwards
Shot, thrown out of orbit

For this body
Splattered, broken
Smithereens
Fragile particles, split
Torn, wringed, chewed and spat out
Fallen into a deep well
Or as in quicksand

This body, not my body
Nobody told me it would be
Like this, and no one can see
what is like inside me
The invisible, rotten, broken,
Soul and body
Body and soul
Forgotten skin, coolness, tightness
Now, softened, expanded
Particles, floating, floating
Bloating, Gaseous molecular nebulae
Cloudy, my head, cotton wool
Blotchy, blurry, dizzy
Marshmallow dimples, cellular disintegration
Cramping sensation, my body
This body, this body?
Lost, and found, battered
Can someone tell me when and how
I can start mending?

Let the colours show

Let the colours show
Allow true feelings out
Without the needing to shout
I am lost and heavy and broken

The heart embracing

Find the strength for recreating

Golden stream of light 
Warmth spreading glowing bright

Create and mould from pure essence within
The outer layers becoming heavy 
Cracking, breaking

Needing restoring
From inside, out
Shifting, shredding
Then
Gathering, nourishing
Loving, loving, loving
Tenderness and caring

Slowing down, and really listening
Listening, listening, listening

I am here, still, find me





“Everything is as it needs to be for I am light and love.
 I am right where I need to be for I am light and love. 
As I accept, I cleanse, and as I cleanse, I am free. 
I am light and love.”




From this month of August 2018 I am going to write a journal through words, verses, and quotes, to guide me through my journey as a woman going towards the Menopause; I would like to look back and see how it was, because, I am only hoping to get through to the other side feeling like the new person I am trying to find.

Here I am, hear me...

Here I am
Hear me
Near me
The fire is burning me
This fire
My fire, my essence, myself
Wearing me out
Dragging me down

Life forces and juices sucked out
I bare, I share, I open then what?
I hide deep, I lie still, I take it
And take it, and take it
Until I breath in the woman
And breath out the girl
What wondrous creation
Within creation
Not a child
No more
A Goddess, not less
My wild, Divine
At the core

This Fire
Burning inside,
Feeding the transformation
Hot spilling, rising, energizing
Flushing out the old patterns
Reviving and healing
Through this darkness of Change
Into the new light

Going through the tides
Through this strangeness she rides
The Moon guiding
The Earth supporting
Phoenix rising
Body and Soul
In this journey

Oh in this dance I fear
Oh in this dance I trust

Oh Mother, oh Earth
Guide me through and share
Your power
Oh Sister, my Moon
Make me dream
Bathe me in your wisdom

I surrender
I open
I wait