Lightness

Lightness
Aided by the the spirit
Guided by the pure bliss sensation
Of all things light and Goddess of creation
Creating lightness
Inducing, perhaps creating
The warmth, merry and bright
Certainly feeling light

Then, just like stone
Sinking into the watery depths
The feeling is gone

Red

Red
What the hell?
Red is what I seek and feel, what I need.
Oh my God! Bloody hell!
Red is what I see and don't need.
Blood is persecution, a true and persistent annoyance
An interruption to the down flow
The way out of this dance
This strange dance I do not know
Spiral down and out
Scream and shout
Put an end to this torture of mine
This is what I know but it is not fine
No, not anymore.
This rocky road of the wise woman
Red moon, now clarity leads the way
Empowered, guided by sister Moon.
Supported by Mother Earth.
Red is the colour of the feminine
Embracing the wilderness.
Awakening my soul
Healing my body
 Transforming and rebirthing

Ruby Angel

Ruby Angel
Of the night
Ready to enter the Castle
A breath out, a sigh
Take flight
Take to the sky

Yet, this flesh
Rotten, corpulent mess
Trapped, tangled in mesh
Just as a fish from the ocean deep
Strangled by wire
Fast asleep
Awaken with fire

Burning, joint and skin
Skin and bones
Bruised within
Sharp pains and moans

And the heart is crushed
between my breasts, flushed
Soaked, drowned and defeated
Damp, mouldering, heated

Rising, lifting,  taking flight
Ruby Angel of the night

Let it

Let it out
Let it in
And out again
Let it go
Let it pass
Let it flow
Let it take me, make me, hurt me
Let it make me see
Let it make me see me now
Let it make me see me now letting go
Let me go
Let me go through it
See me through it
Let me out
Let me in

Shed one by one all the layers
Reaching the core
The essence and the fragrance
Of pure wisdom
Freedom

Sweet Orange

Sweet orange light
Bitter Night
Throbbing, beating
Biting, bite
Grinding teeth
Pressing between sheets
Numb, dizzy, tense and tight

Tired, like wired, like caught
In a tangle, distraught
I am tired, dragged down by weight
Distressed, confused
Last I thought I just wait
See how long it would last
To be done with so it would be past
Hoping to go through it just once and for all
Instead, I am going mad with the rise and fall

Pain, not a word anymore
Not a thing I can kill
A mood, a state of being, a sore
Sensation, physical confusion
In between time, so still
Purgatorial transition
Achingly slow
With nowhere to go

The hormonal struggle ends
To only begin, again

Should I

Pale, like the colours of the rising sun
The early bird sky
I wonder, why, oh my, when it begun
The fire red colours of sunset
Twilight zone, sure, in retrospect
It was a slow transition
But, now, it is getting in the way
Of my life, my position
My rhythms, my night, my day
Don't know where I am anymore
I just get up and go to bed with a sore

Should I stay, go, pray, sing?
Sing these pains away;
Should I cry, talk about this thing,
That doesn't even have a name, anyway?

Should I call it a day?
Should I call it a night?

Should I lay the ghost of this?

Should I just lie low
Or lie still, and stop the time
Just for now...
Wait
Just wait
Until the curtains fall on
This Shit no one talks about
After all
It's only a matter of time

Should I just pretend it's not happening?
Grind my teeth and bear it all.
Should I shout, tell you all
This stage I am entering...
What it is about?
This thing no one wants to talk about?
Taboo, Bloody Hell, Disturbing disturbances,
No pattern, no cycle, new stage,
Irregular, regular, changes, imbalances,
Surrender, fight with rage
Black Cohosh, vitamin B and sage.

That's it, I should, should I,
Just go with the flow..
I know, I know..
Not now
Let me just lie here
Just lie

And there it is

And there it is,
and then it's gone
again.

Sum ergo cogito

So I am...is it me,
Or do I think it's me?

I am longing to meet this future me,
A shadow of the future future me,
Surely not through looking back,
The one, the true one I once met
surely not through regret,
nor anger, not, yet.


And there it is, again, like a ghost,
a shadow, a feeling of a sensation, lost.
Found, lost and found again.
And this pain, a new pain.

Terror, anxious thoughts of diseases and death
Of falling apart and gasping for breath,
Thoughts of having such thoughts
All of this not helping,
Just need to pause and let go, positive thoughts,
That's helping.

Dancing, ungracefully riding, rising, falling
The fun of this horror; the hormonal roller coaster
And so be it, all the good stuff,
The avo wrap, the golden pill,
the Nero D'Avola, Nero coffee,
And more cavolo, and more coffee
Greens and green tea, toxins, out, toxins, in
In and out the dusty blue belles.

To sleep, perchance to cream;
Serum, argan, anti age,
Hey I just wanna scream
Like a lioness in a cage

Here's a crazy thought
Here's a scary thought

There, it is...now is gone
Please, please tell me now
Singing Simon Le Bon
Is there something I should know?