On being happy

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Parent and Child relationship;


Home sweet home!

Home is the immediate surrounding of the young child; its smells, the light and colours that are around him, the mood and the atmosphere that fill the space around him…all this have to be subtle, yet strong; defining the child’s environment as safe. Home sweet home!

Yet…how many homes are really like that? There is usually a certain degree of loudness, maybe yelling or just a loud radio, or the vacuum cleaner, or the washing machine, the computer or the phone…perhaps even the decoration is too loud!

We have to remember that the critical years between 0 to 7 are so important in the child’s development. Here the child absorbs everything. He is at one with his surroundings.

As parents and carers we truly need to be caring. This means that the child needs to breath in our love. The child needs warmth. He needs to feel safe and loved. He needs to feel cared for and nurtured. All the child’s senses are engaged and it is very important to protect the child from external influences that may awaken his senses too early.

Once more the child should not feel threatened or intimidated by loud noises and stranger’s loud voices; nor by toys which are too formed.
 The best toys are the  ‘domestic’ ones a mini home corner with miniature cooker, pots and pans, ironing board, etc...  You could have a kitchen shelf, table and chairs, a cooker with pots and pans, an ironing table, a laundry basket, clothes driers, soft cushions, a soft dolls ‘house’, a tent made of cloths and sheets…and much more. the grown up could be busy around the house with various domestic activities, such as cleaning, baking, preparing snack, sewing, knitting .or painting…and the child/children should be content and should be able then to go deep into their own business and imitate the domestic environment with their creative play...the whole play experience is homely and the senses are engaged in a safe cocoon space which does have indeed a familiar experience.

Familiar is a lovely word that explains the child’s need to be in a loving family/ social nucleus, and with people and things that he recognizes and with which he feels safe. That is also why the rhythm is important in our sessions; the familiarity and the comfort of knowing where things are, what is happening next…the routine, all these helping to form good social skills and good habits by example and imitation.

The child experiences all the subtle gestures, the welcoming words, the reverence, the atmosphere filled with love and joy, the adult world at ‘work’, busy and absorbed in crafty activities, yet relaxed and sociable. It is good for children to see adults being adults. Mums and dads don’t usually need to play with children all the time. The children need to see the adult example and they need to copy that and use their imagination and reproduce the adult world in they play world. This is how they learn and how they engage with the outside world.

The doing is the most important thing and the being is the doing. The adults being there is not enough. The children need to feel the adults being fully engaged and relaxed while at work.

When the occasion is right and it is fun for both of you, you can do an activity with your child, such as cooking- always a winner...Cooking is something I do all the time, everyday...and my daughter experience is to see me in the kitchen most of the time. But there were special moments where we needed to bake a chocolate cake for some birthday or celebration or other...what a lovely excuse to have messy-yummy fun in the kitchen. Yes the kitchen is for me the heart of the home!

The pictures I put here are about 4 or 5 years old, my daughter is nine years old now, and I think it is because of all the cooking at home that she is now not only a good eater ( she eats all the vegetables and pretty much all what we eat..healthy and varied food) but a good cook too...the other day she fired some courgettes for the pasta all by herself...slicing them first...she likes to make apple crumble and she does it all by herself ...I just do the oven bit as I don't let her near it when it's on...but she can stir, whick, chop, etc...

We have made quiches togehter, cookies, bread, cakes, soups...well...pretty much everything!

I will have a day soon, I think, when I say that will be her cooking day...she will cook for us! She can choose the menu and do all the cooking for mummy and daddy...she would love that!

OUT and ABOUT...outdoor time

A walk in the park, or the woods is the lovliest thing ever to do with your child..children..now as a nanny and parent I am basically home educating and these activities really add richness and dimension to your days. Autumn is the best time as all the things fall on the ground ready for you and your children to pick them...must not be too greedy I say...let's leave some for the squirrels and little creatures! Conkers...tigs, stones, cones,leaves...nuts...berries...and also sopt the spiderwebs, and much much more!

 Trees have been there always waiting...inviting my girl to climb them...Morgana is a natural tree hugger and climber...she feels at home on a tree!

It is sad when I often see adults out and about with their kids... lately especially ...I noticed more...They chat amongst themselves...which is fine...but often I spot them texting or chatting on the phone...long chats...

sad...what do you think...the adults are probably watching over but not fully observing or sharing the outdoor time with the children...I don't want to judge...but to me it seems rather important that the kids see the adults enjoying the experience...

On the the other side there are quite a few adults...and it seems more dads than moms...that actually 'play' with the children...that is nice to see and there is nothing quite wrong with it but for me the ideal situation is to be engaged in some activity ( could be mushroom picking, walking the dogs, painting...anything...really...even better...collecting willow twigs for basket making, or bark for a boat...twigs, for mobiles...something artistic or useful, or both...

I'd like my friends bloggers and followers to come with ideas.

I really like the idea of forest schools and I am intrigued...but it still seems very 'formed' and contrived...

I like to feel the connection with nature not because I have to but because i want to...It's not a question of let's go out wrap up warm and get some fresh air and then back indoors into a stuffy room for a hot cup of tea...it's more than that//it is about being relaxed out there in all weathers...

For us parents and nannies the need to chat is vital! We need to compare notes all the time, and to share

parenting information. Yet if adults are in the group with a sense of purpose and are willing to learn and share skills, sing, join in and help around, the child will feel more relaxed and will benefit from the session. It doesn’t help to be there with the child and text your friend on the mobile phone! Let's leave these triviality of modern life...the technology and learn to be in the moment like children do. Let's be content and happy to be just for the sake of being....smell the flowers...slow down...stop thinking...just stop and breathe...observe the little child in front of you and  leave the adult world for a while...just for a while!

a few years back, my sister Laura and Morgana: playing during the break of our long day rehearsals of Treasure Island production in the Dengie, Essex. Outdoor could mean just the back garden or a pretty local churchyard, open space, a common/heath, a field, playground...etc...

children love running and jumping, each season offers different things...

out and about, church in dengie, essex, front garden of old house in Essex,

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Playground

 

Royal Gardens!

By the pond, Cator estate, nearby our current home...when do you find the time for outdoors...? Well, I am sure this was on the way back from school...we walk to school and back each day and it could take us 45 minutes to an hour and a half if we stop and play and look at things...I am sure this one shows excitement after spotting a squirrel running up the tree...

So, invest in thermals, get ready for the outdoor experience!