On rhythm and repetition, just a quick glance at how I am with children and why I do what I do.
This is the way we plan our day, plan our day, plan our day,
This is the way we plan our day: work, sing, make and play!
(To the tune of 'Here we go round the Mulberry bush')
This is the Waldorf way of being with children and I do it automatically so that I catch myself singing a question to the stall keeper at the farmer's market, even if I am on my own, with no little children with me!
Such is the habit!
I sing all the time, when I am doing things, when I am making something, drawing, painting, needle felting, with or without children, I hum a tune...most of the time a typical 'Waldorf' song, a traditional song, and more rarely nowadays, a Kate Bush song, or Radiohead!
The Waldorf way means a gentle and non pushy way; saying something indirectly, while giving directions, or instructions, a gentle reminder, a transition song.
Children need telling, but we all know how uncooperative they are if ask them to do something!
The typical answer is a straight - 'No!'
So the Waldorf way is to sing the 'order':
rather than say 'Shall we go out?', or ' Do you want to put your coat on?', or 'Put your coat on, NOW!'
we sing ' Let's go out! We are going out! Out and about. How about that?'
'Come on children follow, follow, follow me!'
(PS, I use a sing song voice a bit like a see-saw playground song)
And then:
'Girls and boys come out to play
It's a lovely sunny ( windy, rainy, cloudy) day!
Put on your shoes and put on your coat
Open the gate before it's too late!'
La, la , la, la,etc... (to the tune of 'Girls and boys come out to play')
Children respond to that, but also because they anticipate!
How do they anticipate?
They see me first getting ready, putting my shoes on, my coat on, I lead by example.
Before this I get things together in a bag, our snacks and drinks, nappies, etc...
Before this I may go to the loo...
before that I tidy up
We tidy up and I start with singing about our lovely little tidy mouse who lives in the house...You see, our mouse likes it very tidy!
So this is a transition, the stopping of one part of the morning and the 'going on to something else-soon' moment. and I need to be strict, no going out, eating or singing, or story time if we don't tidy up the toys first!
So the gesture is very important. I frown, look at the floor and all the toys scattered...I pick them up gently and put them in the right box ( it helps if I divide the toys, like cars, trains,etc...lego, soft dolls, cuddly toys, ropes and silks, cooking pots and cups in separate baskets.
And I sing along as I put things away.
This is the 'signal' and children respond ( they tidy up with you, unless, for some reason they feel they haven't played enough, and so they might resist tidying up, but usually 45 minutes is plenty for a child under 5)
I sing:
Time to tidy away
Time to tidy away
Put all the things away
Ready for another day
Time to tidy away
time to tidy away
put all the toys away
Play on another day
Time to tidy away
Time to tidy away
Put all the paints (or brushes)away
Ready for another day
etc...
I met a little tidy mouse
He said 'let's tidy up this house'
Tidy tidy here and there
Tidy tidy everywhere!
If there is good creative play it is likely to be tidier, especially 4 to 5 years old upwards have a theme and play with the theme for hours, so I make exceptions and leave doll's, houses and wooden villages as they are, so that the children can come back to it after the walk, or meal, or nap...
So I am 'ordering' the children to tidy up by tidying up myself...leading by example, hoping they help as well
They get the message: this is what is happening now, this is what we are all doing.
So they follow!
Singing the 'order' is a clever thing! If there is resistance, I can't answer back...I carry on singing, as if I was in auto pilot...if there is cooperation then it's done so quickly and I make happy noises and say things like 'Oh!' The mice are quick today! Well done! And always: 'Thank you!'
This is the Waldorf way: anticipate, transition, changes, act first and children will follow.
They will never respond well to a spoken order such as:' I am busy cooking, you stay here and be quiet' , or, 'What a mess! Tidy up, or you will have no tea!'
Even when they are older!
Morgana says it is not fair if I tell her to clean and tidy her room, but if I tidy and clean my bedroom or the kitchen then she thinks it's fair. Occasionally she says 'Let me do the washing up'.
But always lick the bowl first, that is the fun of helping mummy to cook! So I can compromise and say 'Tidy mouse will lick the pan clean, first, then will help washing up and put toys away!'
So this is the Waldorf- Steiner approach to daily life and being with children especially.
We create a Rhythm, a morning Rhythm, or a ritual, things we do out of habit because there is a logical way to do things, like getting up singing, washing, dressing, making breakfast, eating breakfast. And I can hear you saying it's a bit like being in the army! But trust me the children will be much easier if you do this.
I see families that don't do this over and over again...their children usually look dreamy and sweet, messy, untidy hair, scruffy, jam on the face, then cross, grumpy, shocked and or stubborn when you even suggest any changes, they may resist a lot and scream!
We don't need to explain anything to our children. Modern parents seem to think it is polite and a nice thing to treat children like equals. I wonder if this is the reason they respond in a negative way when we tell them to do things or give them too much choice.
They need to know that we are stronger, cleverer, that we know what is best for them and for us. We are their role models...they need to look up to us! We can do this by leading them gently, with kindness and firmness.
We mustn't shout to them like captains in the army! If we act too bossy we get them reacting back at us in the same way!
So creative discipline is to guide the children gently, leading them by example.
And with singing!
We sing the way through the day, the night, the days of the week and the months and the seasons.
We do things because this is what we are doing and we are happy doing them, we need to do them and we want to do them!
We sing through our chores, washing, scrubbing, cooking, eating, cleaning, etc...
We sing and hum while being arty and making things...
we play, sing and dance about nature and all things bright and beautiful.
This is because for little children things are always bright and beautiful. It is fun for them sweeping, dusting, I wash and scrub for real, the kitchen and the cooker and they can scrub the chairs and tables for us
( bubbles!)
when they are satisfied, they will go on to something else, usually their toys in the other room and leave us to mop the floor with the water puddle they made for us! - Handy!
Rhythm is knowing what we do now and also knowing what happens next for the young child feels safe when he knows what is happening and can anticipate. If we have no rhythm and don't follow a specific and always the same order of doing things, the child gets restless and confused, may resist, may not feel safe.
Little children are more relaxed when they know where they are and where they belong and if things are the same; in other words: repetition!
The children's heart is more open, the children's heart is beating slowly and the little child is happy and content, creative and has fun. The children energy is focussed on to something like free play, which is their 'doing', their 'work' and watching us all the time, their eyes on us, looking for guidance, reassurance, love; their body doing what we are doing, our real work, their body imitating what we are doing, each gesture, and what they see around them. Little children being a reflection of ourselves.
This is why we need to be careful of how we are, our temperaments and our gestures, our heart needs to be in what we are doing, our mind need to be present and we need to de-clutter ourselves, get rid of negative emotions, as the children feel their vibrations!
It helps if I have a 'schedule' or a plan...of course I allow creativity and spontaneous things, especially as I spend a lot of time outdoors, I must be ready for change, just like British weather!
It is always nice to greet the day, each day. Christian or Buddhist...or not...it doesn't matter, we need to show gratitude. Realize that we are well and alive each morning!
So when I am with children, either at home or out or in the Playgroup....we sing...
The Waldorf way!
Our morning song is a bit of a well known Waldorf classic
Morning has come Night is away
Rise with the sun … and welcome the day.
Good morning dear earth, Good morning dear sun
Good morning dear stones, and flowers everyone
Good morning dear bees, and the birds in the trees
Good morning to you, and good morning to me.
Down is the Earth, up is the sky,
here are my friends, and here am I;
two eyes to see, two ears to hear,
two feet to walk and run!
Here are my hands, give yours to mine - good morning everyone!
At meal times we have
Blessings on the blossoms,
Blessings on the fruit,
Blessings on the leaves and stems and blessings on the root.
Spoken: Blessings on this meal, or blessing on the food!
The candle lighting song is used for story time or dinner time and it is a bit different in Parent and Child sessions, in Kindergarten I used to sing:
Fire fairy come to us, fire fairy come to us, and the fire fairy comes, bringing golden light from the sun.
Now we sing:
Candle light, candle light, coming down to Earth,
Shining here, in our corner,
Oh so nice and bright.
And I know we are not the only ones to make liberal use of the tune to 'Here we go round the Mulberry Bush' - this is the way we wash our hands/clean our teeth/put on our clothes ... etc etc.
The Waldorf way makes sense to me and it works!
Susannah
xx
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