In my dream

In my dream
I had a dream
And in my dream
I knew I was in my dream
And when I woke up
Nothing made sense
Everything's fucked up
For just a moment
No logic, just tense
And twisted thoughts
Lost thoughts
As if I was caught
In a vast fishing net, and brought,
Like a fish in a dark ocean, pulled out
Drowned and washed to shore
Of the sea of tranquil
In this strange turmoil
I can't breathe
I can't breathe
In shock and despair
I wake up and swallow air

In my dream
I still dream
Too scared to wake up and scream

Fast forward

Perhaps is me
I cannot really see
How we can even be
As we are right now,
I can't explain how
We seem to be stuck in the past.
It's like, we are still afraid of things new
Or maybe scared to go too fast
Forward we look, to things we knew
Already had an idea or scared to try
Seems to go in cycles, and I ask why?

I don't know if I want to see
The vintage reinvented
The eclectic and frugal
The scandi chic
The grungy hippie
The sleek modern
The cheap junk
The expensive crap
The mismatched and the reclaimed
The upcycled and the boho
The country urban
The urban beach
The home sweet homes
The people so bored
Apple laptops and mobile phones
As if they were the last treasures on Earth
The wooden cafes with the bearded baristas
The vegan burgers with the ethnic dishes
The fusion flavours with the futon cliches

I want to be in see through buildings with sliding doors
I want to experience a sideways lift across the floors
I want to beep through and tap around
I want to cross and not touch the ground
I need to zoom from any room
A suspended spiral staircase to the moon
Is all this available now or soon?

As I speak it already is been done and gone.
So I am getting quite restless and bothered
I just need to take a big breath and fast forward

Go gently

Go gently,
go deep.
Go within,
stay asleep
Just keeping in
Reservoir of this magnificence
Transmutation, slow
Steady, breathe, this silence
Nowhere to go

Stay here, now, stay here
Gather what I need
Treasure, comfort all near
By my self, no bleed

Gold and silver treacle light
treacle down below
tho this earth, hold tight
don't let it go
just yet
Hold it
Love it
Then release
Like dance through a flame
Rise up, fly with ease
It will not be the same

Reborn and renew
Gently, dance and sway
Like fresh morning dew
On a cool day, in May

Living this right now
Embrace and learn, know how
to surrender to the power
Of the womb, like a flower

Blossom, stronger than ever.




Like Persephone journeying into the depths of the underworld, she must courageously and fully experience this psychic inner journey before she can arise into the sweet light of spring, the sunlight of new beginnings, the stepping stones that lead her away from a past that no longer serves, honours and enhances the wild, wise woman she is becoming, and this metamorphosis that welcomes her into the ancient realm of Wisdom Woman. As she begins shedding her emotional attachment to the predictability of her lunar menstrual rhythms, she dives deeper into the realm of the mystical feminine, the realm of her female mystery.



When a woman opens to the powerful and expansive dawning of her menopausal transformation, she is potentially opening to a profound metamorphosis into power, wisdom and a deepening integrity of female truth. If she openly welcomes and embraces the intimacy, depth and profundity this transformational journey can bestow, she will enter the mystical, mythical and mystery-filled realm of the female Shaman. For menopause is traditionally a Shamanic pilgrimage of healing that strips away all the mental and intellectual beliefs she has gathered throughout her life until now. This powerful menopausal transformation offers to reveal who she truly is and who she is truly becoming, beneath the familiar layers of structured conditioning that suppress her power, confine her wildness and prevent her from living, loving and being the ancient wisdom of the feminine, the sacredness of the wise, wild woman.

The power of the womb, impersonal,
 immortal, infinitely still, 
succulent and wild, 
exquisite and deep, 
profound and wise.

http://www.wisewomanmentor.com/articles/4396168

Be, just be

May brings
a new sense of sensing
a sensational sensory experience
of earth and air
of warmth and safety
yet
hunger for new beginnings
and striving to accomplish
to persevere and continue
faith in this organic feeling
faith in myself
trusting to be
in the flow, in the moment
accepting
surrendering
sweet scents of lilac and wisteria
purple haze and blue skies
the sun
the moon
grounding and soothing
its perpetual cycles
the seasons
my transition into a new era
what this seems from the the other side
inside and out
suddenly I feel held
lulled and cocooned
I know me as I am going and growing
turning back and looking within
seeing myself
being myself
for real
what it will be
will be
that is still me

being now here
in this moment

painting the picture
of the present is futile
as it is past as soon as the brush dips in the colour
is here for a while
and it is the future unseen
the moment has been

be, just be
and go, just flow

Is it me?

Is it me,
Or is it she
The one looking
In the looking glass
Not good looking
With a big fat ass
Glassy eyed
Stupefied
Wish the mirror lied

But hey, it's me
Or this new me
Plus another me
Which one do I see

I am you and she is you and I am me and I am she
Is that me?
See through eyes
Crazy eyes
Can't be
Monkey's screaming
No more playing
Elephant's trunk
Stink like skunk
Flaming, raging, blaming, shaming
Smacking, cracking,
Crawling, dancing, burning fire
Ancient tragic Greek acting
Some like it hot
Crisp frozen melting desire
Goddess hiding
behind a wooden mask
Demon gypsy stallion riding
Imagine, not
This body, in a basque

Is it me?.....Maybe from afar
Really far, yes it's moi.

The challenge

Morning dew
Something new
Radiance, glow
Come and go

This pandemic
it's quite pathetic
everyone is
quite empathetic

My internal turmoil
My continuous battle
I hear my blood boil
My cousin's in Seattle

Pandemic, it's the lockdown
Anxious me, groggy head
Paracetamol, in my dressing gown
No reason to get out of bed

Perhaps it is a blessing
This whole thing
I can just be, slow down a bit
I welcome it, I must admit

Time to look within
Time to just be

Experimental cuisine
I am my usual busy-bee

Cherish this time, be still
Look inside, wait until
It's over
There'll be bluebirds over

The metamorphosis

This fuzzy cocoon
This groggy self
Alien body the Moon
Heavy Earth gravity
Hear myself, hear myself
Alone, no identity

Pushing, wriggling out
Suffocating feeling
Waiting to grow my wings and spread out
Waiting to break free, dying
To fly

For now I sing the melancholy song
For it has been far too long
So far I have been wondering
Feeling, feeling and suffering
So perhaps is best
to surrender in this nest

I should get my paints out and try
To paint the wings of Me Butterfly