Let us not be alone in our pain.

We can still remember when things were good.

We can still learn again to love ourselves, nature and our human nature.

How things work?

We work things together. This is called communication. Living in a community.




Susannah

As souls learn to contribute the gifts they possess

So the community grows and expands.

No one living in the community can live unto themselves

And just take, take, take

And give nothing.

Let Me use each one of you

So that you can give of your very best

In everything you do.

( from Foundations of a Spiritual Community, Eileen Caddy, co-founder of the Findhorn Foundation )

The end of the beginning

Here

where I am safe

where I am lost

here

where you are near

your breath

your sighs

keeping me grounded

the sun

the cold wind

here

i am near 

I feel the end

is clear

and then 

a new beginning

The last posts here are a collection of thoughts in verses, discordant poetry
My body and my thoughts, my feelings have been going through a phase, and still are, of a tumultuous phase full of changes, the peri menopause - the expressions of which is translated in words in the hope that one can look at this and understand, even if only a glimpse of it, or identify herself, perhaps also sharing, in the hope that one day I can look at this and ask myself how did I cope?
I also plan to create a multimedia expression and representation of this phase, with the help of other collaborators.
I am currently seeking to connect with other women between 45 and 55 going through similar experience and that are able to express what they are going through with paintings and sculptures, photographs and installations, perhaps even musical pieces.
Come forward and share.

Lightness

Lightness
Aided by the the spirit
Guided by the pure bliss sensation
Of all things light and Goddess of creation
Creating lightness
Inducing, perhaps creating
The warmth, merry and bright
Certainly feeling light

Then, just like stone
Sinking into the watery depths
The feeling is gone

Red

Red
What the hell?
Red is what I seek and feel, what I need.
Oh my God! Bloody hell!
Red is what I see and don't need.
Blood is persecution, a true and persistent annoyance
An interruption to the down flow
The way out of this dance
This strange dance I do not know
Spiral down and out
Scream and shout
Put an end to this torture of mine
This is what I know but it is not fine
No, not anymore.
This rocky road of the wise woman
Red moon, now clarity leads the way
Empowered, guided by sister Moon.
Supported by Mother Earth.
Red is the colour of the feminine
Embracing the wilderness.
Awakening my soul
Healing my body
 Transforming and rebirthing

Ruby Angel

Ruby Angel
Of the night
Ready to enter the Castle
A breath out, a sigh
Take flight
Take to the sky

Yet, this flesh
Rotten, corpulent mess
Trapped, tangled in mesh
Just as a fish from the ocean deep
Strangled by wire
Fast asleep
Awaken with fire

Burning, joint and skin
Skin and bones
Bruised within
Sharp pains and moans

And the heart is crushed
between my breasts, flushed
Soaked, drowned and defeated
Damp, mouldering, heated

Rising, lifting,  taking flight
Ruby Angel of the night

Let it

Let it out
Let it in
And out again
Let it go
Let it pass
Let it flow
Let it take me, make me, hurt me
Let it make me see
Let it make me see me now
Let it make me see me now letting go
Let me go
Let me go through it
See me through it
Let me out
Let me in

Shed one by one all the layers
Reaching the core
The essence and the fragrance
Of pure wisdom
Freedom

Sweet Orange

Sweet orange light
Bitter Night
Throbbing, beating
Biting, bite
Grinding teeth
Pressing between sheets
Numb, dizzy, tense and tight

Tired, like wired, like caught
In a tangle, distraught
I am tired, dragged down by weight
Distressed, confused
Last I thought I just wait
See how long it would last
To be done with so it would be past
Hoping to go through it just once and for all
Instead, I am going mad with the rise and fall

Pain, not a word anymore
Not a thing I can kill
A mood, a state of being, a sore
Sensation, physical confusion
In between time, so still
Purgatorial transition
Achingly slow
With nowhere to go

The hormonal struggle ends
To only begin, again